At approximately 3:30pm ET Tuesday, HBO released the first full-length trailer teasing season six of Game of Thrones, and – as with many of you who share our enthusiasm for all things Westerosi – our office exploded with excitement.
After watching, re-watching, and then re-re-watching before finally coming back to general coherence, we were able to string together real thoughts, sort of, about what our precious eyes had just witnessed.
Not sure what you saw? You’re not alone, but hopefully Sarah Moffatt, Oliver Ward, Phil Borden and Joe Puccio can help shed some light or, perhaps, make things even more confusing, because WHAT THE HODOR JUST HAPPENED.
The Sparrow gets political.
“Doesn’t the High Sparrow remind you of Bernie Sanders? ‘We need to put an end to the HUUUUGE corruption of King’s Landing billionaires!’” (JP)
“Feel the… High(?) High Sparrow for Lord of the Seven Kingdoms!” (OW)
Margaery pleads for mercy.
“Margaery is looking extra Anne Boleyn-y here. History majors know what I’m talking about.” (OW)
Franken-Mountain looks angry.
“If The Mountain crushed skulls with his bare hands as a human, can you imagine what he’s about to do to Lancel Lannister as a giant armored zombie!?!? Also, Lancel is terrible; he deserves it.” (JP)
“LOL BYE, LANCEL. I’m ready for The Mountain to ruin some lives.” (SM)
“How many men does it take to kill The Mountain? 100? 200? False: The Mountain is invincible.” (PB)
“Cersei needs a new wig stylist STAT. How can we focus on her dishing out fierce revenge right and left with bad hair?” (SM)
“Violence: Lannister-approved since Season One, Episode One.” (OW)
Brienne takes names.
“Yes, Brienne, I need you to keep on keeping those oaths!” (SM)
“It appears Brienne also chooses violence.” (OW)
Dany does the Nabucco…
“The Dothraki don’t know who they’ve captured here. I feel like this won’t end well for them.” (JP)
…and rocks the wind-swept look.
“Why does Dany looks like the most beautiful thing ever even when she’s a dirty prisoner?” (SM)
“How does Daenerys go from freer of slaves to a slave? Shes has DRAGONS.” (PB)
“Dragons > violence.” (OW)
“Seriously, MORE dragons. I have a fever and the only cure is MORE DRAGONS.” (JP)
Theon goes to the dogs.
“That does appear to be a bloodhound, yes. You can jump to your freedom, but if your name is ‘Reek’ the scent hounds will find you.” (OW)
“Sansa looks good for just having jumped off a really high wall. Where you at, girl?” (SM)
“She’s not pregnant, is she? That’s not the face of a pregnant lady, right? Please don’t let her be pregnant.” (OW)
Melisandre… Mostly she just stares into the fire. GET IT RIGHT THIS TIME, OK?
“Is Melisandre about to make a smoke baby with Jon Snow’s corpse?? Gross! But who’s kidding – you’d watch it.” (JP)
“Melisandre better be bringing back Jon Snow! #snowforironthrone” (PB)
Jon Snow is a frozen stiff.
“Whose hands are touching Jon? Is that Sam touching him??” (SM)
“Seems like this trailer blows up the immediate resurrection of Jon Snow theory. When we saw Thoros of Myr bring Beric Dondarrion back, it seemed time was of the essence. Now, we’re seeing Jon lying in state. What?!?! Jon can’t be gone! He’s the ‘Ice’ in Ice and Fire! Right? Isn’t he? Anyone?” (JP)
“I’d like to point out Kit Harrington told Time Out magazine he knows “how long I’m a corpse for, but I can’t tell you that!” So, you’re telling me there’s a chance!” (PB)
Davos is… No clue. Mad? Sad? Fighty? Is that face even on the feelings chart?
“Wait, hold on. Is… Is Davos about to tear it up over Jon?!” (SM)
“Ser Davos wouldn’t hurt Ghost, right?” (OW)
Bran meets a new friend(?) Probably not a friend.
“How did Bran get into such an awful position after not even being in Season Five?” (PB)
“No, Bran. Stahp. Bran! BRAN. BRAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” (SM)
Watch the brand new trailer below, and catch up on any episodes you missed before Game of Thrones returns on April 24th at 9pm ET on HBO.